Bootlegging and knockoffs, as I understand it, are probably as old as the concept of manufacturing. One day Ugga the caveman created the first stone wheel. The same day, Bunga created a ripoff made of wood and leaves that fell apart after you used it for 5 minutes.
After that, things never really changed, and so now we have laughably mad video game console knockoffs. What a slippery slope.
Neo Double Games
This strange beast is an attempt to rip off the fat, or “phat” Nintendo DS, shown here.
At first blush, it’s spot-on–at first blush, the only obvious difference between the actual machines is the addition of a button above the D-pad. For that, I have to commend “Neo”. However, when you start to actually play the games, that’s when the veneer falls right the heck off.
Okay, first of all, there are no cartridges like its…err…ripoffsake(?). The games are loaded through separate LCD screens that have to be manually taken out and replaced every time you want to play summat else. Also, the screen hinge is invariably weak, so you are obliged to hold that up while trying to play, lest it crush your puny human-fingers.
The one thing you can say for it is that it’s cheap–they’ll normally run you about 5 dollars or less, and the highest they have ever been reported to cost is 20 dollars. However, if you would spend that much on this item, especially after reading this, you have to have to seriously bigger problems, d’you know what I mean? Oh, and it requires 3 AAA batteries to run (and we ALL have loads of those lying about), or in the case of the purported DS Lite ripoff, two AA batteries.
There are only four known games for it: Soccer, Street Fighter, Submarine Invasion and Fortress Guardian. They are all 8-bit, so it’s pretty much like playing a Game & Watch, only with more despair and blatant dishonesty.
Oh yeah, and the bottom screen is for show only. I will not go into detail about the games, but if you have an unbreakable soul, you can watch these two fine gentlemen discuss and play it. And may God have mercy on your soul.
No doubt some poor kid received one of these on a bright Xmas morning or a birthday and wept him/herself to sleep that night, wondering why God and the universe had seen fit to punish them in such a manner.
But seriously. If you want to give this to somebody because of its cheapness, and not because you are a confused and/or lazy grandparent/parent, don’t do that. Just buy them a regular ‘ol DS, if you want to go the cheap route. You can find that on Ebay for like 30 dollars. Do the right thing.
Game Child
This fine device is a ripoff of the original Game Boy, shown here.
As you can see, the Game Child was an attempt to copy the general look and feel of the Game Boy, without certain details. And by “certain details”, I mean “a Select button”, “a B button”, and “any of the stuff that makes the Game Boy awesome”.
Okay, okay, so it looks lame and is a ripoff of the Game Boy. But what does it actually do?
As its box helpfully informs, it has a whoppin’ three games, named “Football“, “Space War“, and “Desert War“.
And by the way, the “Football” game is actually a soccer game, not an American football game. It’s pretty much standard LCD fare, the lot of it. Once again, you can watch this British Leonardo DiCaprio lookalike review this “console”.
Oh, and this bloke made a movie about that, too.
You and I may laugh, but apparently the Game Child was successful enough to warrant a redesign, with an even more hideous colour scheme.
And here are all of the Game Children(?) released, together.
Game Theory Admiral
That thing up there is, surprisingly, not a translucent Game Boy Advance. It is a very good clone appearance-wise, however.
But no, imagine little Billy excitedly opening a red, wrapped box on Xmas morn. He pulls out the Game Theory Admiral, N64kidding (I just invented that verb) very loudly, and thanking his smiling, onlooking parents profusely. A day later, he visits a nearby games store with his dad to buy Pokémon Emerald. He can barely contain his mounting excitement as he clutches the box all the way home. He gets home and eagerly jams the new game into the Game Theory Admiral and turns it on. Nothing happens. Perplexed, he tries again, and fares no better.
Indubitably, at least one of you has met with the same fate as little Billy. Then what does the infernal machine do? It plays Famicom games.
This may seem right brilliant; a portable Famicom disguised as a Game Boy Advance. But before you rush out and try to buy one, hear this: The setup is extremely rickety, so one wrong move means your Famicom cart is going to be disconnected, and of course in the middle of play. Also, while the video is surprisingly good, the sound is often distorted. Also, if you don’t have the AC adapter, you’ll need three AA batteries to power it, which can be a real pain in the arse.
On the other hand, it is possible to get hold of controllers and play the Game Theory Admiral that way. Also, if you have the attached AC adapter, you can play it on your telly. Also, if you have the proper converter, you can play PAL NES carts. I’d recommend getting this only if you can’t be arsed to get a real Famicom or NES. If you just want it because of the porta-Famicom aspect, you can buy much higher quality ones for about 40-60 dollars.
Mega Kid MK 1000
There are a number of problems here made quite obvious just from a cursory glance. Number one, those are vaguely Batman-shaped PlayStation controller ripoffs, that have six buttons. On one side of the controller. Number two, that’s a keyboard. Number three, the controllers are plugged into the keyboard. As for number four, that gun looks like it could totally kill a dude. The more you read of this article, the more you will see that last phenomenon.
So what in the heck does it do, now? It comes with with possibly the strangest Famicom multicart ever (pictured between controller and overly realistic gun). Here is a partial list of what is on the cartridge.
- Keyboard exercises (???)
- Word processors
- G-Basic (modification of Family BASIC, the programming language for the Famicom)
- Mathematical games (!)
- F-1 Race (NES/Famicom game)
- Track and Field (NES/Famicom game)
- Jewel Tetris (NES/Famicom game)
Now here’s where it gets a bit ridiculous. The thing (can’t really call it a console, now can I?) was marketed as a “home educational computer”. This makes me think that it was released in China, at least initially (we don’t know who made it or when, like some kind of nefarious Stonehenge). It is known to have been sold in Brazil.
Okay, it has maths games on it. That’s educational. And so is programming—right? Well, since no CMOS backup memory is installed or provided, any program, text, or operation will be lost when it’s turned off, or even so much as rebooted.
The one good thing about it is that it is, mercifully, compatible with all Famicom cartridges, and even with NES ones, provided you own the required adapter.
Super PolyStation 2
Notice how it sounds a lot like “police station”. That’s because that’s exactly who you should go to if anyone tries to sell you this. Jokes aside, here’s the box (well, one of them).
First off, the packaging is undecided of just who it wants to rip off. It has a 2003-2006 era picture of Sonic the Hedgehog, right above some Street Fighter Alpha clipart of Ryu and Ken, for starters. And I can’t tell who is underneath them, but I’m sure they are not there legally. Also, the “SP2” font is done in the style of the real Sony PlayStation, which was a nice touch, I suppose. And it gets no better when you open the box.
As convincing a front as it puts up, Super PolyStation 2 does not play PlayStation 2 games. No, it plays Famicom games. Open up the “disc drive”, and you’ll be surprised by a cartridge slot. Whoopee. It is traditionally packaged with a “99,999,999-in-1” multicart. For those of you who don’t like maths (which is all of you), that’s just short of a million.
Pro-tip: When buying anything, especially a Famicom cart, that promises any sequence of nines in one unit, be wary. Invariably, the cart will either have less, usually much less, than what was promised, or there will be loads of recolours and reskins. Neither one of them is really good, but unfortunately, the PolyStation 2 takes the latter route. There are at least two games on this cart called “Road Fighter“. Seriously. Also, loads upon loads of Super Mario Bros. and Tetris reskins. But you don’t have to take my word for it (although I’d love you to). Watch these fine folk play and review the machine.
There is a silver lining here, however: This, like most Famitraps (just invented that one) are compatible with all Famicom cartridges. Oh, and I supposes NES carts too, if you had the proper converters, but I dunno if the low-hanging slot allows for that. My recommendation:
But don’t give up your dreams of playing God of War or Kingdom Hearts just yet–somewhere, somebody is making a Famicom version. That is the Famicom Law.
There is, err, another variant, ostensibly plug-and-play, whose creators I am uncertain of. I present it now.
WiWi
The Nintendo Wii was insanely popular when it first came out and about 6 years after its release. Seeing this, the Chinese bootlegging underground could not let this stand. Thus did it become the system of choice to knock off.
This particular machine is not TERRIBLY incompetent, but it still doesn’t hold a candle to the Wii. Sure, it has motion control, a large part of the novelty and therefore success of the Nintendo Wii. However, it can be faulty, and sometimes doesn’t work. Also, the games are loaded through cartridges–not discs.
The graphics are nothing to write home about, really; its standard CPU is about 2o bits, which is better than, say, the SNES, but not as good as the PlayStation 1. But they created this to compete with–no, really profit from–a seventh generation console. In a time where VR gaming was slowly becoming normalised, and complete 3D games without glasses were possible, these blokes were making 20-bit cartridges.
And the games themselves are mostly ripoffs of Wii Sports games; I don’t know of a single title that’s not in that order. Lessee, there’s “WiWi Tennis“, “WiWi Soccer“, “WiWi Golf” (ouch), “WiWi Bowling” (double ouch), and finally, good ‘ol fashioned “WiWi Boxing“.
Ha! What a funny name! Well at least nobody made a “WiNi”, right?
WiNi
i-Dong
This–heh–contraption is an imitation of–heh, heh–the Microsoft Kinect. It works pretty well, actually. It can mount to any PC, it’s universal, and it uses IR lights, a sensor, and reflector pads to find its accompanying controller. It’s much more similar to a Wii Sensor Bar than a Microsoft Kinect unit.
Pffffchkflbt…i-Dong.
PCP Station (Game Advance)
This lawsuit-dodgin’ piece of hardware is a ripoff of the Sony PSP. But if you’ve learned anything so far, you ought to know that it does not play PSP games.
Nope! It lets you play such wonderful, delightful games as…
- Thunderbolt Airplane (A Galaga ripoff, and a poor one at that.)
- Street Overlord (some kind of strange Street Fighter II clone set in midair, inside what appears to be the Grand Canyon.)
- Nonesuch Fly Racing/Nonsuch Fly Racing (the heck does it sound like?!)
- Super Mary (some kind of Game & Watch ripoff. Supposedly, it stars “Merio”, but a still picture of Luigi is always on screen.)
- Chanticleer Hegemony (lit. “Cock Dominance”, a game about roosters slapping the heck out of each other. Seriously.
And what is the method of conveyance for these so-called “games”? If you said “interchangeable LCD screens”, then ding-ding-ding, you win the prize of despair, hopelessness, and ultimately boredom. If you would like to see these monstrosities in action, then here you are.
You will notice that all these games in the video are actually being played on the “POP Station“, not the PCP Station. This means that they are knocking off the knockoff. That is equal parts hilarious and sad.
There is also another variant here, that offers 150 games in one, which is a better deal, I guess, in the same way that being bisected by a laser is better than being bisected by a rolling saw blade.
X-Game 360
As you can see, this is a visual ripoff of the Xbox 360. However, it is much, much smaller than the real thing. There are other differences too. For instance, the X-Game 360 is designed to be played horizontally. While the Xbox 360 can do this easily, it is much, much more common to see it standing vertically. Secondly, the controllers are amorphous blobs (dibs on the band name!) that are completely either green or white. The real thing features brightly coloured buttons, and grey joystick and D-pad. Third and most glaring (at least to me, anyway), the Xbox 36o doesn’t come packaged with a light gun, and the one you can get doesn’t look like it could totally kill a dude!
And fourth, it doesn’t have this.
Anyway, if you’ve picked up the rhythm of this debacle, you can guess that this is a Famiclone. A minor Famitrap, really.
Not much is known about this. I don’t even know what Famicom cartridge that is in the box. Knowing this world, however, I’ll wager it’s an original one, a multicart. One thing that is known is that this is sold in Mexico, sometimes even in places such as Walmart. It is usually sold for about 299 pesos, or about 16 US dollars. Not a bad price, for novelty.
PolyStation 3
The PolyStation 3 was a very aesthetically pleasing clone of the PlayStation 3. It even comes with its own convincing controller. However, that’s where the resemblance ends.
If you are familiar with the PolyStation 3, you’ll know that it’s slightly smaller than an Amazon Kindle, and that it can literally fit in the palm of your hand. And you’ll know that that controller is even tinier.
But the most insulting thing is its games. I know what you’re thinking. “*scoffs* What, another LCD swapping thingie?” But oh, no, my fine, unfortunate friends. Nooo.
Take another look at the machine up there.
You will notice that it has a screen sticking out from it, like some sort of overgrown camcorder. Well, m’lords, that’s the screen. It’s a plug-and-play. You’ll notice that it says “Soccer” in that specific one. It would seem that a game named “Soccer” is standard issue for any console knockoff. Some game screens for this include “Formula 1” (Pole Position ripoff), “Submarine Invasion“, “Street Fighter“, and “Space Guardian“.
The PolyStation 3 promises to keep you entertained for hours. First of all, this is not true, and if it is, then you are very easily impressed by very simple lights, colours and sounds, and probably should not be allowed to handle whatever device you’re reading this on. And secondly, you really should know that in the vicious, heartless knockoff underworld, where shady companies start off their day with fresh puppy hearts seasoned with the tears of innocent children, promises mean nothing.
Actually, I made a mistake; YES, you do swap out LCD screens for this. And they are no better. Just to remind you again, this is in imitation of a seventh-generation console. A console that is considered to have one of the biggest libraries of realistic games. And then there’s this.
*Fart sound*
And by the way, this is not to be confused with this ostensible plug-and-play PolyStation 3, which I know nothing about.
PX-3600
This is one of the more famous knockoff consoles. When images of this first started to surface on the Internet, people thought that this was some sort of mad fusion of the PlayStation 3 and the Xbox 360. Oh, how wrong they were.
Not content to fool regular people as well as grandparents with failing vision, the makers of the PX-3600 (Cheer-Tech Industries) decided that it should only be able to play pre-installed games. Crappy ones, too. That disc tray? It’s fake. Come to that, it doesn’t even open.
It also boasts haptic feedback on its promotional images (as seen in the image above), which it chooses to suggest by simply putting multiple controllers in a layer. This is a clue to the quality. First of all, only one controller actually vibrates. And it’s more of a gentle, vague, sporadic pulse. Also, although it is always touted as having a light gun, I have found no images of it, and am therefore forced to conclude that it doesn’t exist.
There is no reason to buy this.
Super Megason IV
……
Two variants exist of this knockoff. There is one, as pictured above, that has a PlayStation-esque console and controllers. Then there’s a later variant that was very well made, that completely resembles a Super Famicom or a European SNES.
But for the hilariously inaccurate scale, the outdated NES Zapper, and the lack of shoulder buttons, this was a pretty spot-on visual knockoff. However, don’t be too impressed—that cartridge slot is merely for decoration and aesthetic purposes—as its box says, it comes preloaded with 3,500 games. Bummer. However, the PlayStation variant is a functional Famiclone, which you can use your own carts with. And don’t let the braggadocious claim of “WITH EXTRA CARTRIDGE” fool you—there’s only one cartridge to be expected. And of course it’s a multicart. They really should have looked up “extra“.
The controllers for the PlayStation variant are made of fail–a PlayStation 1 controller is depicted on the box, but the actual controller more closely resembles a Sega Genesis controller.
And the light gun is fail too–its cord (Warning Sign No. 1, folks!) is far too short, meaning anyone who wants to use it is obliged to sit very, very close to the telly screen, which you may recognise as counterintuitive and defeating the point.
Also, that kid. There are far too many things wrong with that kid. Number one, what the heck are those stupid glasses? Number two, it looks like somebody took a weed-whacker to his hair. Third, Macaulay Culkin/Skyward Sword lips. He is holding that controller completely wrong, even though it is a ripoff. His light gun appears to be unendingly shooting a stream of urine into the stratosphere. Which, apparently, has completely covered his abominable T-shirt, unfortunately, making him look like some sort of shrunken Elton John. Also, note how he is uneasily smiling and looking toward the corner of the box, as if to inquire if the photographers would let his parents go now.
But by far the worst thing is that the kid appears on two different variants of the box. This means that either they had him pose twice for it, that the kid was from a stock photo, or that they just Photoshopped new stuff into the kid’s hands. None of these is really a good thing.
The one good thing about it is that it’s cheap; it’s been usually found for about $6.63. However, it’s usually found in Bahrain, so…Oh well. At least they didn’t make another one!
Megason 2
They seriously need to learn how to count. First, there was the Megason IV (that means “4“, for those who can’t be arsed), which imitated the PlayStation 1. Okay..that doesn’t make much sense, but then they decided to make a Megason 2 imitating the PlayStation 2? That is fail, and a real game company would never have such dumb naming policies.
I really don’t know anything about this particular one, but it comes with a badassly-named “Panther Gun” that will apparently “provide you a real gun feeling”.
This time around, they come right out and say that it’s an 8-bit game console. Not that that’ll matter to Gran, who simply sees that game machine thing the grandson’s been wanting for his birthday. Judging by the fact that there’s no cartridge in the box, this is indubitably a preloaded game deal.
Oh well. At least they took that stupid kid off the box.
Nintendo PolyStation
I know what you’re thinking…”Hmm…hasn’t that name been on this list a few times now?” Yes, you are very astute. Have a biscuit.
Now, this brand is the…err…Nintendo of ripoff brands. It’s been about since the 90’s. But for their part, they had the big, brassy knackers to actually use Nintendo’s name for this.
There actually seem to be a few variants of the first PolyStation. It’s kind of a half-and-half deal. The first half is a plug-and-play type, with the “disc drive” being unopenable. Such variants, as pictured above, generously offer 10,000,000 games in 1. Yes. Really. Remember what I said earlier, though—whenever a ridiculous amount of games is offered on one unit, that’s almost never a good thing.
A flip of the coin reveals the other variant, the one that not only has a Famicom cartridge slot, but included cartridges.
These ones add to the hilarity, really. Not content to rip off the design of the PlayStation, the PSone, and the box associated with the N64 and its products, but it uses Namco cartridges which have the pseudo-shape of SNES cartridges. Oh, and sometimes…
Well, at least you can play this.
Like the console itself says, with a tone of perpetual, angry, vehement exasperation, “IT’S JUST NOT A GAME ANYMORE!!” What more can be said?
All jokes aside, however, never forget that the PlayStation started out as a joint venture between Nintendo and Sony. Therefore, the following might very well have been something like the actual box, had negotiation not fallen through.
Xbox
Battman
Okay! The creators of this one (Unique) were very diligent. They take the cake with a record-breaking five ripoffs in one go. Lessee here…we’ve got the box associated with the N64 and its products, the poster for the movie Batman and Robin, the design of the first Xbox, and 2 PlayStation controllers. As for the last one, look at the red left side of the box. Now go look at same on the PolyStation and PolyStation 3. That’s right. They ripped off the ripoff.
To add insult to injury, you can’t let what appears to be a Famicom cartridge in the box fool you–this is a plug-and-play. And why does that gun look like it could kill a dude again?!
But by far the most baffling decision here was to, of all the Batman media out at the time (the Xbox was released in 2001, so let’s go from there), choose Batman and Robin, a film that most people have, err, very strong opinions about. I mean, come on! What’re they gonna do next, make one with 60’s Batman on it?!
Ah. It would really suck it they had multiple releases of this one, eh?
Wi Vision
Besides sounding like the worst disease ever, this is one of the myriad Wii knockoffs.
They (an unknown Chinese-to-Brazilian company) did a good job of copying the Wii’s general design as vaguely as they could. However, even though they wanted to get in on the Wii racket, they included precisely none of what made the Wii popular. No motion control, no Miis, no Internet connectivity–and no separate games. Eeeeyep! As you can see on the box, it is preloaded with 217 games. Or at least that’s what it says, anyway. Reports indicate that it’s actually just 106 games.
“Oh, you might say, “well at least they’ll be high-quality graphics!” No, no, no, no, no, my misguided friends. No.
Nope! The Wi Vision plays not 128-bit, not 64-bit, not 32-bit, not 20-bit, heck, not even 16-bit, but 8-bit games. As in, the quality of the NES. Well, let me not say “quality”, as that would be a grave insult to the fine Nintendo Entertainment System. There is 240 x 240 resolution (the NES is 256 x 240), and a 64-colour palette limit (the exact same as the NES). Just to give more perspective, the maximum resolution of the Wii is 640 x 480. And the Wii has a colour palette limit of–oh that’s right, those are obsolete, and the Wii can render any colours it wants, and as many as it wants.
And supposedly, it’s compatible with Famicom games, although that claim is dubious in my eyes. And the thing looks like a melting Sega Genesis. Which, incidentally, you could have much more fun with.
At least it comes bundled with two wireless controllers–for the insignificant, chump-change sum of 150 dollars.
Chintendo Vii/Sport Vii
Are you serious?! This is some sort of cruel joke, right?
No it isn’t, my poor Caption Phantom. This is possibly the most famous of all Wii knockoffs. In fact, it is famous enough to warrant its very own Wikipedia page, a dubious distinction. They’ve got the look down, you’ve got to give them that.
The Wiimote ripoffs are called “Handybars“, which sounds like either some sort of weird exercise equipment or the strangest health food product ever. As JungleTac (makers of the Vii) are ever-enterprising, they released the Handybars in “Arctic White”, “Mint Blue”, and “Hot Pink”, which is a creative collection of colours that have never been released, or even thought of. The Handybars have motion detection (which is very spotty, to put it mildly) and sound output, but no pointing abilities like the Wiimote. And the buttons are unresponsive half the time, a common complaint with knockoff systems.
The Chintendo Vii is a 16-bit dedicated console, which is just jive talk for “plug-and-play”. Here are some of the games.
- Fantasy Baseball (don’t people have phones for that?)
- Catch Fish (a game about catching fish, weirdly)
- Bowling
- Table Tennis
- Bird Knight
- Fever Move
- Free Craps (because don’tcha just hate it when you have to pay to crap?)
- Alacrity Golf
- Smart Dart
- Fry Egg
Now, as you may have guessed, these games are all clones, every last one of them. However, that last one is a clone of Cooking Mama. Now, I understand that if you’re ripping off popular brands, you may not exactly be a very creative person. But when you start knocking off Cooking Mama, it’s about time to hang it up.
Oh, and they made a sequel to this in response to the first’s success (beats the heck outta me), colloquially dubbed the “Vii 2“.
It was given a remodel, with not only a blue-coloured version available, but a Handybar resembling a dead-eyed clown. Oh, and they made it resemble a mix between the NES and the PlayStation 3, which in any other case would be super rad. It was given support for NTSC and PAL regions, which is nice, I guess.
The Vii 2 has a few warnings.
- THIS IS NOT A Wii – it will not play Wii games
- Vii is a game console designed just for kids and toddlers!
- Designed with THEM in mind, not the big kids
- Slower game speeds
Loads of the games are either the same ones that were on the “original” Vii, or sequels to them.They even had the nerve to implement a safety screen.
The Vii 2 even tries to entice unwary customers with the promise of “3 axes G-SENSOR” and “10 different sounds“. Yep! All for the low, low, reasonable price of 140 dollars.
Game Fillip
Another plug-and-play. I really don’t know anything about this particular one. However, its box requests–no, demands, that you have a good time. Seriously. Have a good time, or that lad in the green shirt is gonna pump you fulla lead, see?! I’d look this up, but I’m too scared.
Rambo TV Game
This is an imitation of the Atari 2600. By the way, the Atari 2600 was released in 1977. As the box says, this made made in 1995. The Atari 2600 was to kids in the 90s what an N64 is to kids today. That being said, there are a few variants, and some come with 125 builtin Atari games. However, this 1995 edition comes with a staggering 25,000. All of this is great, but…
Why did they have to call it a “Television Computer System”???
Game Joy (Micro)
This lovely Game Boy Micro lookalike is written on with Ancient Chinese Bootleg font, even though it’s clearly Japanese. At this point, you may be thinking “Hey…maybe this actually…plays…Game Boy stuff…?” Nope. Sorry. You’d be forgiven for thinking it, however; but for the font and the lack of L and R buttons, it’s pretty much spot-on. Sure to fool many a gran. So what does it play? Oh crap, I don’t see any cartridges…
PXP-2000
That is the PXP-2000. They reckon the more letters and numbers they put in, the more chance they have at muddling grans. However, this time you shouldn’t be so outraged at that. Take a look at another image of it.
No it isn’t, Caption Phantom! The PXP-2000 has emulators for the following:
- Famicom
- NES
- Super Famicom
- SNES
- Game Boy
- Game Boy Colour
- Sega Mega Drive
- Sega Genesis
They actually work well, too, making this one of the few entries on this list to be weird because of how awesome it is.
Not only can it do those emulators, but it can play myriad video and audio formats on a 4.3 inch LCD screen with a slide-out controller. Not bad, huh?
- It probably self-destructs after you use it 100 times, though.
Dendy
This fine piece of machinery, besides sounding like a racist restaurant, is a Taiwanese Famicom knockoff that has been around for a loooong time. Well, at lest since the early 90s. Anyway, the Dendy was produced by Taiwan for the Russian market (replace “Dendy” with “weapons” and this gets somewhat less funny). It was extremely popular, since there was no official Nintendo presence in Russia at that time. As a matter of fact, in 1994, not only was it the single most popular games console in Russia, but over 1 million copies had been sold.
It was so popular that it was featured in telly programmes (heck, some of them were ABOUT the Dendy!) and magazines. It even had a freaking mascot, an elephant named Dendy (what originality) They were even gonna make an animated movie starring it!
Yes, it was very popular. In fact, if probability and my stats are correct, some of you grew up with this in your households. But here’s where things get funny. In 1996, Steepler Inc. (yes, they created an entire company to sell one console) ceased productions after monetary issues. But! the Chinese continued to make knockoffs of the Dendy, and they still do—to this day. Just to be clear here, the Dendy was a knockoff of the Famicom—and now the knockoff is being knocked off. Go on, read that sentence again–I’ll wait. I just want you to know that—they are making imitations of an imitation.
The machine itself isn’t really all that impressive. Its story and history are most of what makes it famous. The actual games are knockoffs of Famicom games. They appear nearly identical to Famicom games, but due to the PCB shell and the internal electric hardware, actual Famicom games are incompatible with the Dendy. So of course, NES games are as well. Oh, and what is the most common type of Dendy game? If you answered “multicart“, you’ve been reading this article! Sooo many multicarts.
Jokes aside, they really got the look and feel down on this one.
Somebody seriously needs to take one of these and mod it so it can play Famicom games.
Speaking of Eastern European Famiclones…
Pegasus
Speaking statistically again, if you were born in Eastern Europe but not Russia, you probably owned one of these.
This Famiclone was originally manufactured in Taiwan by Micro Genius to resemble the Famicom. However, it does more than that; it actually plays any Famicom cartridge. If you had a converter, you could even play NES cartridges on it. Of course, however, most of the games that came with it (and that you could buy) were unlicensed, unofficial games. One of the most common bundles came with Pegasus, two controllers, power supply, audio/video cables, light gun, and “Contra 168-in-1” That last one included some of the NES/Famicom’s greatest hits, such as Contra, Super Mario. Bros, and Tetris. Of course, many games were hacked, tweaked, and reskinned.
This was most popular in Serbia, Bosnia, and Poland. Of course, it eventually found its way to other European countries, but those are the countries where it saw the most tenure. To this day, you can go to small toy stores and street markets in Poland and find either the system or games for them, or both. At a point, you could even rent Pegasus games from video stores, a strategy you might recognise from the late, great Blockbuster. Okay, only one more popular European Famiclone after this…
Terminator 2
Very simple. This is another popular European Famiclone. Using statistics once again, if you grew up in Europe, but not Russia, Bosnia, Poland, or Serbia, you probably owned one of these…maybe.
It had the real name of “Super Design Ending-Man BS-500 AS“, which was the most awesome name ever. It was released in 1992, and was super popular. It played Famicom cartridges and could do NES if you had a converter, but usually came with those godawful “1,000,000 in 1” or “9,999,999 in 1” multicarts. It was insanely popular in the areas of Europe that Nintendo hadn’t touched yet, and that was quite a few areas. Lessee here…
- Poland
- Serbia
- Croatia
- Bulgaria
- Hungary
- Romania
- Italy
- Bosnia and Herzegovina
- Albania
- Montenegro
- Iran
- Pakistan
- India
- Kenya
It was also given as a marketing gift/promotional tool in Spain to those who organised conferences. You’ll notice that Kenya is on that list. I reckon that this was the first time Africa was ever “officially” touched by video games. Also, Iran and Pakistan??? Nintendo still doesn’t have official presence in the Middle East. Also, at the time, they didn’t have Indian presence (which never changed)
I mentioned Micro Genius up there earlier, but let’s talk a bit more about them. They were a Taiwanese (because of course they were) video game company responsible from not only creating a crapton of Famiclones, but also bringing video games to areas of the world that were not familiar with video games, let alone ones from Nintendo. What areas? Oh, just li’l places like…
- The Middle East
- Southeast Asia
- East Asia (obviously excluding Japan)
- South America
- South Africa
- Eastern Europe
You may recognise those as like, half the world…! Let’s just take a minute here and thank them. Consider this: At the time of Micro Genius’ founding, Nintendo had absolutely no stake in any of these places, and had no intent to. However, not only did Micro Genius provide them with Famiclones, but they probably helped Nintendo to claim stake in those areas by Nintendo suing the crap out of Micro Genius and other Famiclone creators. This is a very rough indicator of the places where Nintendo has official presence.
You will notice that all but one African country, all but four Asian countries, all but one South American country, and the entire Middle East are not on that list. However, between Micro Genius, the makers of Terminator 2 (I don’t mean James Cameron), and Steepler Inc., they brought the Famicom to about half of the globe. That’s pretty darn impressive. Oh, and although Nintendo sued and removed unofficial interests from those places, they usually didn’t replace them with official product. So the next time you start whining about your mum selling your old NES (or your Dendy or whatever the heck), consider that there were (and still are) kids in major countries that have never seen so much as Pong. Bootleggers aren’t all bad, y’know.
Mega Drive Extreme
We now return to our regularly scheduled article.
An underachiever in bootlegging, this beast is content to merely take the name of the Sega Mega Drive, the design of the Microsoft Xbox, and the design of the PlayStation 1 controllers.
This is different from all those other douchebag consoles, however: This thing actually plays Sega Mega Drive games. Sega Genesis, too. Apparently, the thing will occasionally be sold with a light gun that is supposedly equally shoddy.
Okay, this actually wasn’t a completely terrible idea, I’ll give them that. But if you’re going to rip off someone’s controller, why not the one connected with the console you’re cloning?
Advance Boy
I have absolutely no idea what in the heck is going on here.
WLL
It’s not hard to work out what happened here: A shady knockoff company owner saw the success of the Wii and said “Hmm…that motion control stick thing sure looks fun…but it’d be even more fun if the stick was the whole game, and it had no motion control!”
This is another LCD screen popper (because screw you), and it comes with modern classics such as “Snow Boarder“, “Basketball“, “Soccer“, “Street Overlord“, and I kid you not, “Racing Car“. To see these wonderful and engaging games, go below.
Game Fighter
To mix things up a bit, here’s a knockoff that is actually worth your while.
That is the awesomely titled “Game Fighter“. It resembles a flipped original Game Boy, or an original Game Boy if it was in the style of the Game Boy Advance. And it has an amazing gimmick…
It actually plays Game Boy games. Like, actual Game Boy games. No crappy multicarts. Just, whatever a real original Game Boy can play.
That’s pretty much it…this is kinda boring. And there you have it, folks: Knockoffs that work aren’t interesting. If it is not a laughable ripoff, nobody will even notice it.
Wee
I have no clue what this does, but—oh…that’s a DVD player. Because that just makes perfect sense. Actually, the Nintendo Wii was the only console of its generation to be unable to play DVDs, so…maybe they had the right idea with this.
Power Player Super Joy III
Pro-tip: The longer the name, the wronger the game.
Once again, this gadget falls back on the old strategy of “if we rip them all off, they can’t sue us that way!”. The Player 1 controller/console itself very closely resembles an N64 controller (the “joystick” is stuck fast, and there are no shoulder buttons). And the second controller is a very accurate imitation of the Sega Genesis controller. Oh, and an overly realistic light gun, too.
The 1st controller/console looks like an Nintendo 64 controller…2nd controller looks like a Sega Genesis controller…naturally, it plays Famicom games. It comes with a–you guessed it–bootleg multicart. The only silver lining here is that usually, there is a slot on the top of the “console” for Famicom games, meaning if you already have a game you can play it.
Actually, in North America, especially in the United States, Famiclones out in the wild often take the shape of an N64 controller.
Notice how austere that cart is. Nothing says “joy” like plain black letters on a plain, undecorated red background.
There is a bit of a silver lining here, however; people got sued for selling this. In places like malls. Like the Mall of America. I quote the following:
“When Nintendo discovered this product, they began taking strong legal action against importers and sellers of the consoles, and have obtained a temporary injunction against the import and sale of video game systems containing counterfeit versions of Nintendo games.”
Super Game
Treamcast
Despite the name and logo looking like summat somebody would use in a movie to avoid a lawsuit, this is a very, very competent unit. It is on this list because of how great it is.
The Treamcast (lol) is basically a portable Dreamcast. A portable Dreamcast that can play burned discs, imports, CDs, and MP3 CDs. It even comes with a remote control and a carrying case!
The only thing about it is that it apparently has inordinately loud cooling fans. But if you’re into your game enough, that shouldn’t bother you too much, now should it? Also, it’s kind of hard to find, and is expensive; generally about 170 dollars. However, this is one item that I would wholeheartedly encourage you lot to look for.
All of that is fine and Dendy (see what I did there?), but if you can spend just a few more dollars, you can get this. The item behind that link is a portable monitor that can connect to a Nintendo 64, Gamecube, PlayStation 2, PlayStation 2, Xbox, or Dreamcast. And it can hook up to a DVD player. Or a VCR. And it comes with a headphone jack. And a car power adapter. And it’s available in both purple and black.
Dualshock Controller
Extreme Box
This is pretty much a reskinned “Battman”.
Whatever The Heck This Is
POP Station
Don’t let the “Value Pack” fool you; there is absolutely nothing of value here.
The look rips off the PSP, but the actual games are that of the Neo Double Games. Every. Last. One.
Super Games Player
???
Apparently, this is an Xbox 360 knockoff. And even though it looks like a Wii, I’ll take their word for it.
Delightfully Small
This is, somehow, a ripoff of the Nintendo DS. They artfully changed the words to fit the name. This seems to be just an Android device. Funnily enough, more is known about the applications than the games. Then again, maybe that’s because it’s not really intended to play video games…
Golden China TV Game
The Golden China TV game is a Famiclone that was sold in South Africa (still is), which was very popular there in the early 90s. I can’t really find much information on it, but this is how South Africans played Nintendo before the end of Apartheid.
Wü
Gotta give ’em a bit of credit; they got the style down pretty well. However, a real Nintendo Wii will not fit in your hand, unless you are Andross and/or a mutant.
Sonilex
This gadget was made in India. Make of that what you will. It is intended to look like the PlayStation 3, but of course, it’s a plug-and-play with 41 built-in, copiously copied games.
Apparently, it comes with a controller, which I’ve never seen (the above picture seems to be the only existing one), which is artfully titled the “Dualshack 2“. Wasn’t that a song in some 1972 movie???
Kontorland KT-103
Here we go again with the multiple knockoffs! The Kontorland, which boldly proclaims itself “THE BEST VIDEO GAME SYSTEM”, is a physical ripoff of the Sega Mega Drive/Genesis with a picture of Sonic the Hedgehog on it, a PlayStation 1 controller, and pictures of Sonic and Tails on the box.
Logically, it plays Famicom games. Oh well, at least it doesn’t come with one of those stupid 99 million in 1 cartridges!
On the bright side, it only costs about 8 dollars.
FunStation 3
Ah, the FunStation 3. This is probably the most famous PlayStation 3 knockoff. But for the hilariously common, outdated PlayStation 1 controllers, they did a good job on this one. It plays Famicom games that look strikingly like N64 cartridges, which is nice, because it would be a shame to waste such a good-looking machine on plug-and-play.
Zone Wireless Gaming
Arcade Game Box
This machine’s successes and failures are checkered. It wins by looking like an Xbox 360 with PlayStation 3 controllers (both of which are wireless), a modern and intriguing look. It fails by making the outrageous claim of supporting up to six players at once. It wins by supporting SD cards as well as MP4/AVI/3GP/MPG/MPEG/MOV/DAT/RMVB/3GP/MPG video files. In the end, however, it ultimately fails by being compatible only with Neo Geo, Game Boy, and arcade games, 100 of which are built-in.
Reactor
If I were forced to guess, I would think that perhaps the system’s “creators” gave it this name because it appears to be melting in the middle. Whatever the case may be, I’m never touching this thing.
Zone 40
This name sounds a lot like a certain “top secret” U.S. government research location. With that being said, I hope aliens come and destroy every last one of these.
iReadyGo Much 3G
As its Ultimate Engrish title implies, this is actually more of a gaming tablet. Itis Android-based, and can run ROMs, I think. It is intended to rip off the PlayStation Vita, a system that is well noted for its success. Then again, if you’re ripping off game consoles in the first place, then you may not be all that interested in keeping your finger on the pulse anyway. Anyway, not the Xbox 360 buttons.
JXD S5100
To cap off this godawful, I mean intriguing and fascinating list, I bring you the JXD S5100. this is a very recent knockoff, one that surfaced after the release of the Wii U, which it does a very admirable job of ripping off.
It is an Android-based device, capable of playing many media formats, as you can see in the above image. It is touted as being independent of a TV-based console, which is not saying much at all, because what handheld isn’t?
Even though there are still a few more consoles out there (and more are being made every day), I’m concluding this list to preserve both your and my sanity (but mostly mine). In conclusion, I say only this: These godawful knockoffs do more preventatively than any of those dumb “Piracy, It’s A Crime” adverts. Oh, and by the way, they were later fined for stealing an artist’s music for the adverts.
The moral of the story here, kiddies, is that you just can’t trust anyone. Not even yourself.
PAL games, like in the NES, sometimes play wonkily.
This was nice. I especially liked the cave theme. It always reminded me of Native American music or some such thing. Of course, I thought Baby Mario was a pain in the Butterfree. But I figured out a trick for that. If I screwed up, I’d just turn the volume off. And the final Baby Bowser battle theme…it’s hard to describe. Take the word “epic” x1000, multiply it with 47000000000 “awesomes”, and multiply that with 89000 “dopes”. Now erase your work and trash the blackboard, because the theme craps all over (and surpasses) it.
I liked playing this game a lot. Now that I remember, I would, years ago, play a port of Super Mario Bros. 3 on a superslow computer occasionally. That sucker had Internet Explorer. Surprisingly, it ran online games really well. Anyway, Super Mario Bros. 3 for the GBA was nice. They ported it very well. I remember loving the P-Wing. Being able to fly over everything and not be attacked by enemies or trapped by the environment was awesome. The final battle was so easy, though. Even though I didn’t notice then, that was anticlimactic. But the whole game was a stage play, wasn’t it?
thelinguistgamer 