Does Hip-Hop Exist In The Mushroom Kingdom???

As I’ve said in one of my previous posts, in the real world, Hip-Hop and video games have more than a few connections. As a matter of fact, when you think of it, they were both born out of the 70s! Anyhow, today we’re gonna do a little sleuthing to determine whether or not Hip-Hop, as a culture, exists in the fantasy world of The Mushroom Kingdom.

No, you may not kick anything.

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Preface

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I’ll start by saying this. The likelihood of the answer being “yes” is rather unlikely, seeing as a) the Mushroom Kingdom seems to be more government- and employment-orientated  as opposed to being focused on advancing or building any type of culture, and b), although the Mushroom Kingdom has had some struggles and disasters, owing to the relative 2-dimensionality of the series, very rarely if ever do movements or reforms emerge from unrest.

That being said, if there is a Hip-Hop movement in the Mushroom Kingdom, it probably has no connection to lower-class neighborhoods, gangs, blackouts (notice how there seem to be no “lower-class” citizens in the Mushroom Kingdom), or any such circumstances that affected our real life movement. Anyway, enough talk. Do you remember the Four Elements Of Hip-Hop from my last post? If so, great. If not, brush up on them here. What we’re going to do here is examine the games to see what Elements, if any, are present in Mario’s world. Let’s-a-go!

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1. Graffiti/Writing

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Oh hooo! We’ve stumbled upon a good one here! Because if you recall, one of the best games in the series revolves around graffiti.

That is to say, you having to clean it.

If you recall correctly, the premise of the story (spoilers I suppose) is that Bowser Jr. disguises himself as a shadowy version of Mario (creatively named “Shadow Mario”) and paints graffiti all over Isle Delfino, the island that Mario & Co. are vacationing at. As luck would have it, Mario is accused of having done the graffiti, and ordered to clean it up. Yeah. To all of my child readers out there, the next time your parents tell you to clean your room, be grateful it’s not an entire island.

Okay—so clearly, graffiti exists in the Mario Universe. Not only that, but it seems to only be detrimental. With the exception of the Rainbow M, which acts as a sort of warp—

—it is purely destructive, at least on Delfino Island. It will electrocute Mario, block his way to Warp Pipes, burn him, poison him, and generally make life difficult for the pudgy plumber. Also, it makes the island look very ugly, which is saying something because it’s apparently a very common tourist destination. I think we can safely conclude that graffiti exists purely as a means of destruction and mischief in the Mario universe, never as a form of expression. Or can we???

In Mario Party 8, there is a mini game known as “Speedy Graffiti“. The objective is to paint certain shapes on stone tablets within a short amount of time, then break the tablets.

Okay, so two things wrong with this. a) there is no “right way” a writer is “supposed to” write. As a matter of fact, the uniqueness each artist brings is what makes it so expressive. b), you’re supposed to use an aerosol can, not a damn paintbrush. I know that may sound contradictory, but come on. If you use a paintbrush, you’re not a writer, you’re Bob Ross. Next Element.

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DJing

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Here’s a more fun element, at least in my opinion. This Element has appeared at least once, in—

Waaaaiit a minute…

What the hell is going on in that picture?! Google, Zoom Out!

*breath in* BOI

Good Lord, what are you doing, man?! You’ve got no crossfader or mixer whatsoever (the device that allows a DJ to smoothly transition from one song to another seamlessly), your records appear to be the size of a doughnut, you have no slipmats or anything to reduce traction (which you could definitely use, seeing as it looks like you’ve put rocks on the platters instead of actual records), you’ve got your turntables on top of the speakers, and I’m 106% positive that there will never be a reason for you to do what you’re doing with your left hand. You nitwit, you’re a terrible DJ! And the last straw—those glasses. Elton John called—he said “Keep ’em, I don’t want them anymore.”

Okay, sorry…mandatory Luigi Roast is done. But at least we can be sure that never again can anything so horrendous ever be experienced by mortal—

This is just the worst image on the entire Internet.

 

Moving on from that nonsense (those images come from the Super Mario Bros. Super Show Episode called “Rap Land”, if anyone wants more 80s cringe), although this takes place in Wario’s world as opposed to the Mushroom Kingdom, it appears that some people enjoy DJing…

FER CHRISSAKES PEOPLE!

…well at least he’s playing a record instead of a rock. And also (this is waaaay off subject), in the “Disco” minigame in Game & Wario, there is a robot named Mike who is selecting the tunes that you dance to.

I…actually don’t see anything wrong with this. Gimme a minute.

As a matter of fact, this is probably the most true to life, because Hip-Hop definitely owes a debt to disco and dance music in general. And some of the DJs that spun disco and dance music would later turn right around and use the same turntables for Hip-Hop.

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B-Boying/Breakdancing

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Nothing much to report on here. Although Mario is depicted B-Boying on the cover of Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix, it is safe to say that it is not enjoyed as an everyday activity in the Mushroom Kingdom. Indeed, Mario is not even seen breakdancing within that game.

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MCing/Rapping

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Okay, this Element has been featured quite prominently.

…haven’t we seen you here before?

That’s from DDR too…

In the Super Mario Bros. Super Show! episode, “Bad Rap“, literally everyone in the eponymous “Rap Land” raps. Oh, and the king looks like James Brown.

Did you think I was lying? Because I wish I was.

As a matter of fact, the show has a tune called the “Plumber Rap”. It seems to be an integral part of the show. And because I know you want it stuck in your head…

 

Also, in whatever land Donkey Kong 64 takes place, there is a “DK Rap“, so that exists there too. I think it’s safe to conclude that MCing is quite normal in the Mushroom Kingdom.

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Conclusion

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No, Hip-Hop does not exist in the Mushroom Kingdom. Certain aspects of it may pop up from time to time, but not as a whole, as a culture.

 

 

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What are your thoughts? Am I wrong? Am I right? Do you want to apply the same procedure to another universe? Lemme know down below. 😉

Awesome Betas: Super Mario Bros.

Hey, guys.

You may be thinking right now ” ‘Ol Super Mario Bros.? For the NES? That old thing? What on earth could possibly have been left out?” Well, a few things. This won’t be nearly as long as usual, but it’s still quite interesting. Let’s jump right into it!

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Gameplay Style

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This is the most important element. First of all, the game focused much less on platforming, and more on action.

The game was split between sky levels and ground levels. Mario would ride a rocket in the sky (or a cloud, in later development stages), and shoot the enemies, as seen in this development sketch.

He would do the same on the ground, sans the cloud. The Coin Heaven levels are a remnant of this concept.

Yes, you read “shooting” earlier. Mario was originally able to carry weapons- the only two definitively known are a rifle and a beam gun. The latter was probably based upon the NES Zapper, a peripheral that is known in Japan as the “Beam Gun“. Considering that the peripheral released in 1984, and Super Mario Bros. released in 1985, this is entirely plausible. Anyway, it makes stuff like this-

and this-

Not seem so crazy anymore. It’s a shame they didn’t implement this idea later on. Then again, this paradigm probably would have shaped the series as a whole, so… *shrugs*

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Control Scheme

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Since Mario was able to use weapons, the control scheme was significantly different.

The Up Arrow on the D-pad was used for jumping.

The A Button would use whatever item Mario had equipped, and would let Mario do a kick if pressed when he was empty-handed.

The B Button, like normal, could be used if held to dash/run fast.

This development sketch details the control scheme.

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Important Game Mechanics

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In early development stages, visible checkpoints were considered, as opposed to the invisible ones we got in the final game. This idea would finally be implemented in Super Mario World.

The game was originally supposed to have screen-by-screen scrolling, as opposed to the seamless, continuous scrolling we got in the final game. This abhorrent, abominable (sorry) scrolling method was used in the 1986 remake/update called “Super Mario Bros. Special” for certain Japanese PCs.

There is unused data for L-shaped Warp Pipes such as this-

and this

To be entered from the top, as opposed to from the left. This behavior is never used because Mario always automatically enters the pipes from the left.

The way that the Lakitu enemy throws its Spinies is not normal; it’s actually a glitch! In the final game, Lakitu throws almost randomly, with no horizontal behavior. The eggs are supposed to bounce off any walls, pipes, or tiles that they hit, and they are supposed to be thrown relative to the player’s speed and Lakitu’s position.

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Finally, we talk about something cool: Yoshi. Shigeru Miyamoto wanted Mario to have a dinosaur companion ever since Super Mario Bros. In fact, there is even a sketch he drew depicting it.

Yeesh…that’s ugly. Anyway, the reason that Mario did not have a dinosaur companion in this game was supposedly because of the limits of the Famicom hardware. However, this can’t be right. Why? Look at this picture.

You are looking at a picture of Mario riding Yoshi in Super Mario World…a bootlegged hack for the Famicom. So, yeah. They just didn’t utilise the system well enough, I suppose.

And one more thing. Bowser, the main antagonist of this game and almost all subsequent ones, was originally supposed to look like an ox. Specifically, the Ox King, a villain from the 1960 anime movie, Alakazam the Great. This is what the Ox King looks like.

This is the artwork of Bowser from the Famicom Super Mario Bros. cover.

Anyway, this is why Bowser has horns, great fangs, and a defined muzzle today, despite the fact that he’s supposed to be a turtle.

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That’s all the Awesome Beta for this game. What do you think? Lemme know down below.

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Awesome Retro GIFs 4

Why Mario and Zelda are Connected

Heus!

Cameos in video games are a longstanding aspect. Most Nintendo games have at least one cameo of another universe. Today, I’ll explain the ultrasignificance of this. Sou da! Let’s go!

Okay, I’ll give it to you straight- I believe that the Mushroom Kingdom and Hyrule are connected. This is supported in part by the many cross-cameos. But not only that, because by that same logic I could say that Planet Zebes and the Mushroom Kingdom are connected. Anyway, let’s have a shufti at the cameos. We’ll start with…

Cameos of Mario in Zelda

We’ll do this by timeline.

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Creation Era

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The Minish Cap (GBA)

In this game, three familiar enemies appear;

The sentient bomb enemy, Bob-Omb–

The cloud-dwelling menace, Lakitu– 

And the spiked enemy, Spiny–

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In this game, when vines are grown, the exact same vine-growing sound effect from the Mario series plays.

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Additionally, the Podoboo lava enemy was programmed into the game but was left unused.

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Four Swords (GBA)

The horrible travesty of a pet dog, Chain Chomp, appears as an item here-

And the Bob-Omb appears as an enemy-

And so does the fire enemy, Podoboo–

The plant boss Manhandla appears in this game.

In the Japanese manual for the first Zelda game, it is stated that Manhandla is a deformed, enlarged Piranha Plant. The line is as follows-

４方向に手を持つ大型のパックンフラワー。手が減るごとに速い動きになる。ややつよい攻撃力を持つ。

(4 Hōkō ni te o motsu ōgata no Pakkun Furawā. Te ga heru goto ni hayai ugoki ni naru. Yaya tsuyoi kōgekiryoku o motsu.)

The highlighted text says “Large Pakkun Flower”. Pakkun Flowers are what Piranha Plants are called in Japan.

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Ocarina of Time (N64)

First off, look at the owners of Lon Lon Ranch, Malon and Talon.

Do you see what they are wearing ’round their necks? Have a close-up.

That is a brooch of Bowser, the main antagonist of the Mario series.

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If you look at one of the windows in Princess Zelda’s courtyard, you can see a few Mario 64-era pictures of  Yoshi, Princess Peach, Mario, Bowser, and Luigi.

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Look at this sign found in Dodongo’s Cavern.

It is the same as the infamous “L is Real” plaque in Super Mario 64, thought to validate the existence of Luigi in that game.

The Fairy Fountain theme in this game is the same as the Water Land theme from Super Mario Bros. 3, just with different instruments.

Here is the Fairy Fountain theme-

And here is the Water Land theme-

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Ocarina of Time 3D (3DS)

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In this game, where the Mario 64 portraits would normally be, there is instead a replica of a New Super Mario Bros-era level.

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Decline Timeline

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A Link to the Past (SNES)

In several houses in Kakariko Village, portraits of Mario can be found hanging on the walls.

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On Turtle Rock, Chain Chomps can be found as enemies.

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A Link to the Past (GBA)

In the GBA-exclusive Palace of the Four Sword, Chain Chomps are found as enemies in the entrance hall.

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Oracle of Ages (GBC)

The flying fish enemy Cheep-Cheep appears in this game-

The lava enemy, Podoboo, appears here too-

The spike-backed enemy Spiny appears here too, but under the name of Spiked Beetle.

A one-eyed Thwomp appears as a boss called Spiked Thwomp.

A multi-faced Thwomp called Head Thwomp appears as a boss.

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Oracle of Seasons (GBC)

Cheep-Cheeps, Podoboos, and Spinies all appear in the same capacity as Oracle of Ages.

The winding cactus enemy, Pokey, appears as an enemy in this game.

Thwomps appear here.

The Manhandla boss appears in this game, looking very Piranha Plant-ish.

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Link’s Awakening (GB)

Where to start?!

First off, Christine, the goat from Animal Village. She sends a love letter to a Mr. Write, and encloses a photo that is supposed to be herself. However, the actual person pictured is none other than Princess Peach!

A Yoshi Doll appears as a trading item within the game. It even has artwork.

The choir frog that appears in this game, Mamu, and the evil king of Subcon from Super Mario Bros. 2, Wart, are one and the same.

As a matter of fact, Wart’s Japanese name is Mamū.

The squid enemy Blooper appears in this game, although it is called “Bloober”.

Bob-Ombs appear under the name of “Bombite” here.

The ghost enemy, Boo, appears under the name of “Boo Buddy”.

Chain Chomps appear yet again, although they are pets instead of enemies.

Cheep-Cheeps appear again.

Goombas appear, in one instance being in a hidden grotto along with Piranha Plants.

Shy Guys appear in this game, under the name of Mask-Mimics. However, their Japanese names (Heihō) (ヘイホー) are exactly the same.

A Thwomp obstacle fittingly called Mega Thwomp appears in this game.

Piranha Plants appear in side-scrolling areas along with Goombas.

Podoboos appear.

Pokeys appear.

Spiked Beetles a.k.a. Spinies appear here.

A Thwomp enemy called Spiked Thwomp appears in the side-scrolling areas.

And finally, the regular Thwomp enemy appears in side-scrolling areas.

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Legend of Zelda (NES)

Manhandla is one of this game’s bosses, and it was in the Japanese manual for this game that stated that Manhandla was a mutated Piranha Plant.

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Child Timeline

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Majora’s Mask (N64)

The mysterious mask-collecting man (or is he?) Happy Mask Salesman, has a backpack covered with masks. One of these is Mario‘s face (shudder)

Do you see it?

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Twilight Princess (GC)

The cannon operator, Fyer, has a picture of the bullet-like enemy, Bullet Bill, on his sleeve.

For Din’s sake, man, put a shirt on!

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Four Swords Adventures (NGC)

Chain Chomps appear.

Thwomps appear.

Manhandla appears.

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It is interesting to note that there are no Mario connections in the Adult Timeline (Wind Waker, Phantom Hourglass, and Spirit Tracks).

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Anyway, next, we’ll tot up…

Cameos of Zelda in Mario

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Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)

In this game, it is possible to obtain an item called the Warp Whistle that allows you to instantly travel to distant lands via a whirlwind. This is the sound that it makes when played.

It is nearly identical to the sound of the Recorder, a Zelda item, shown here.

The Warp Whistle transports you to different worlds via a whirlwind. The Recorder takes you to dungeons that you know the location of, via a whirlwind.

This is the Warp Whistle-

And this is the Recorder-

To cap this bit off, SMB3 released in 1988 in Japan. Zelda for the NES released in 1986. …Well?

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Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (SNES)

In this game, at the Rose Town inn, Link himself will appear, sleeping in a bed.

Talking to him will do nothing but play this sound.

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Mario Golf (N64)

In this game, several Zelda character names appear on the scoreboards.

Some of the names are-

Darunia, Deku, Deku Scrub, Goron Kid, Impa, King Zora, Link, Malon, Nabooru, Navi, Rauru, Ruto, Saria, Sheik, Talon, and Zelda.

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Super Mario Sunshine (NGC)

Il Piantissimo, the man disguised as a Pianta, looks like this when unmasked by hacking tools.

Clearly, he’s either the Running Man from Ocarina of Time-
Or the Postman from Majora’s Mask.

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Mario and Luigi- Superstar Saga (GBA)

Link was originally going to visit the Starbeans cafe and give Mario the Triforce.

Link was cut, however, and the Triforce replaced with the Great Force.

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Super Mario 3D World (3DS)

In a secret part of the Rainbow Run level, a giant 8-bit sprite of Link from Legend of Zelda for the NES made of black tiles can be found.

Lighting the tiles up to color them triggers the “item get” sound effect from Ocarina of Time. Also, a remix of the Zelda theme will play until you leave the area.

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That is all. Now we’ve got all our evidence, all our raw facts, and now it’s time to turn them into something.

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First of all, lemme just say that the fact that there are pictures and references and such things means that the subjects have a valid presence. Mario wouldn’t have his portrait hung up in a bunch of people’s houses if no one knew who he was, right?

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Anyway, it is clear to me that Super Mario 64 takes place at the same time as Ocarina of Time. The courtyard pictures are Mario 64-era. The plaque is exactly the same as SM64’s. However, it is a universe where Bowser has won in the events of SM64. This is why Malon and Talon are wearing brooches of the archvillain of the Mushroom Kingdom. He’s won; he’s the king. For the fate of Mario, look below…

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The Running Man, not content to merely traverse Hyrule Field forevermore, ventures into the Lost Woods after a long time of hanging around there. He finds a portal to the Mushroom Kingdom(different from the one that leads to the area in the start of Majora’s Mask). By chance, he has an opportunity to ride a plane in the Mushroom Kingdom. It goes to Isle Delfino. When he arrives there, fearing hostile action from the natives, dons a disguise based on the appearance of the natives. In this disguise, he continues to participate in one of his favorite activities-racing people.

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After the events of Link’s Awakening, this Link is set adrift at sea. He floats for months and months, and finally drifts onto the shore of Rose Town. He is in a coma, and the villagers bring the hero to the inn. He never recovers from his coma, but simply stays in it for the rest of his life. This is why he cannot be woken by Mario at the inn, no matter how many times he is spoken to or what noise is made around him.

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After the events of Legend of Zelda for the NES, Link has no need of the Recorder. He breaks it into three fragments, and magically sends it to another world, not knowing or caring where it lands. The pieces land in the Mushroom World. Because the Recorder is fragmented, its power is diluted in comparison to its Hyrulian use.

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In the Hyrule of ALttP, the villagers of Kakariko have heard of Mario’s victory over Bowser and the Koopa Kids in Super Mario World. Their admiration of him causes them to hang his portrait in their homes, similar to how the French hung Benjamin Franklin’s portrait in their homes when he visited.

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The Happy Mask Salesman, during his travels, meets Mario. This is in the middle of Super Mario 64, and a bit before the events of Ocarina of Time. He is intrigued by meeting this great hero. Seeing a chance to add to his collection, he traps Mario in a Mario mask. Because Mario was unable to save the Mushroom Kingdom from Bowser, Bowser “wins” Super Mario 64. This is why Malon and Talon wear brooches of him, because he was the “victor” of that game.

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Wart, the king of the Dream World Subcon, escapes to the world of Link’s Awakening after he is defeated. He reforms and helps the hero Link, instead of being a bad guy. Because he cannot survive long outside of Subcon, he dies after teaching Link the Frog’s Song of Soul. This is why he vanishes and cannot be seen again.

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Prior to the events of Super Mario World, Bowser, while in his Koopa Clown Car, flies over Hyrule, and releases a load of his minions into the Hyrule of the Minish Cap in an effort to spread his evil beyond the Mushroom Kingdom. The Goombas and Koopa Troopas are far too weak to survive the intense world of Hyrule, however, and they die quickly. He repeats a variation of this before A Link to the Past happens, and this time only the Chain Chomps survive. He makes a third attempt before Link’s Awakening, and this time, because the world is more conducive, his Koopa Troop are able to survive- all of them. Some of them mutate because of being in a strange, magical environment, however. In the rest of the Decline Timeline, they gradually die out until there was only a Piranha Plant seed left. It blew into the Manji dungeon…

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These are all the connections I’ve put together. What do you think? Am I missing something? If so, let me know!

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